It's not the same
by norushtolive
Summary: Puck realizes that he misses Lauren, and the same happens to her. How will they deal with their feelings? Will they end up together?
1. Seeing you again

**Chapter 1**: Seeing you again.

* * *

><p>It was another normal day in the Glee Club, where they all sat and listened to what Mr. Schuester had to say, listened to Rachel Berry's suggestions for songs that she would be willing to sing in Regionals, heard Santana's annoyed sigh and some comments between her and her girlfriend Brittany. The fact is that Puck has grown fonder of the group since he joined it. Of course they had some disagreements along the years, but now that it was the last months of their high school, Puck felt something he never thought he would; – since he always wanted to get out of Lima – he felt his heart tighten with the thought of not seeing the ones he cared about after they graduated.<p>

Puck sat on the far back of the room, which gave him a good view of the choir room. Looking around he spotted Sam looking at Mercedes with puppy eyes and a sly smile – ever since they got back together, they were hardly seen apart from one another – Finn, was listening to whatever Rachel was saying, it looked he wasn't paying so much attention, so Puck figured she was talking something annoying as usual. Tina and Mike were talking about college stuff, and how they would see each other as often after Mike moved to his dorm. Quinn was sitting next to Artie, talking to him and sharing a smile. Recently she announced she got accepted in Yale, and everyone was happy about her, including Puck, he knew this was good for her and was glad to see her better. It made him think how everyone was with their future plans all figured out and they were basically already living their dreams, besides from him.

A couple months ago, he applied to some colleges for Music major, but he hadn't heard from any so far. He applied to them, mostly because his mother was bothering him with it, for what he cared, he just wanted to get out of Lima, and college wasn't exactly in his plans, but he decided it wouldn't hurt so much to just apply. He never hoped to be accepted, since his reputation wasn't the best and his grades weren't the ones that any college would look for. Although, after seeing Beth and trying to convince Shelby he was worth to be part of his daughter's life, he improved his grades and stopped being irresponsible and reckless. He was a dad now. It's not like he wasn't before, but now he was part of her life and he needed to be a good example for her.

He couldn't help but spot an empty chair in the choir room while looking at his friends. Of course there were a lot of empty chairs, Glee wasn't the most popular club in school, but this chair was kind of special, it was where Lauren usually sat when she was in Glee and with him. His thoughts wondered to the girl he used to date. Yes, date. Another thing that Puck never thought he would do, after all he was a sex shark as he liked to call himself, and that girl gave him a lot of work, but he found it worth it, she was different from any other girl he hooked up, not because of the body type, but her confidence, and her 'no take shit from anyone' attitude, she was even a bigger badass than he was, and he really liked that about her. At the beginning of their senior year, she had dumped him with the excuse that Glee and he wasn't in her cool factor anymore and that she needed to keep her reputation up.

His mind wondered about her. He wanted to know how she was and ask her about her future plans, and it reminded him that they haven't talked in such long time, and then he let himself feel something that he pushed away every time she came in his mind. He missed her. Everything about her, he missed.

His gaze was broken when his friends started to applause Rachel's latest performance of another romantic song for Finn and the bell rang. Biting his bottom lip, Puck stood up grabbing his stuff and heading out of the choir room in what it looked like to be a second. If he was doing that, he didn't have the time to think, he just rushed to the hallways heading to one locker specifically. Walking in a fast pace, Puck looked to the locker and didn't found what he was looking for, but decided to wait. '_She'll be here at any time'_, he thought as he leaned against her locker, watching the students on their lockers getting their stuff together to finally go home.

Lauren was in her AP English Literature class and was dismissed early to go to the nurse to get a pack of ice so she could put it on her shoulder that was hurting insanely. She had a sling around her neck to hold her injured right arm so she wouldn't move it too much and to help heal it. The injury happened the past weekend, on a wrestler match.

It was the finals on the state championship, and Lauren fought against one of the best opponents so far, he gave her a lot of work. On the peak of the match, her opponent dropped her on the mat placing his body on top of hers holding her firmly. In that moment she felt something wasn't right with her right shoulder, it was burning and it hurt like hell, but she held the scream that tried to come out of her mouth and focus on her opponent, trying her best to get rid of his grip. It took a few skillful movements of her, to turn them around and place her body on top of his and hold it steady, making sure he wouldn't have the time or the space to turn back up again. The ref started to count, and soon enough he called her out as the state champion.

To get up from the mat was a bit harder when she felt that she couldn't support her whole body with both of her arms, so she used only one, but when the ref looked at her to raise her arm, everyone could see the bump on her right shoulder. Her coach saw it and already called the doctor that was watching the match to check on her as soon she got out of the mat, lot of ice packs were put on her shoulder as they examined her, it was swallowed and had a huge bump. The doctor, after examination told her that could be an AC separation, but she needed to go immediately to the hospital to take some x-rays to confirm it.

Lauren was a bit scared, not that she would tell anyone that, about the condition of her shoulder. If the injury was too bad, she knew she would have to do a surgery and maybe never be able to wrestle anymore. And, as she waited in the hospital for the x-rays results and the doctor's prognosis she thought what would happen if she could never wrestle again, and that made her more nervous. She shook the thoughts away when the nurse called her out to see the doctor.

The doctor was a tiny man, in his late 50's already with some white hair, and he explained her what happened to her shoulder and confirmed it was an AC separation, type IV, it wasn't so common, and it might need surgery, but for now he just gave her some pain killers and recommendations to rest and put ice every two hours for fifteen minutes so the inflammation would go away, and told her to come back in 10 days. _Great!_ She thought annoyed with this situation as she was walking towards her parents' car.

When she got to the nurse's room she asked for the pack of ice and lay down on the bed they have there with the ice on her shoulder. She had taken one pain killer at lunch that was making her sleepy now, so she drifted off for a while waking up only when the bell rang. She slowly got up with the help of her good arm gave the nurse the pack that now had water from all the ice and thanked her as she walked out.

Walking down the hall towards her locker she saw that some students were already leaving '_Was I out for how long?_' she thought. As she was getting closer to her locker she saw that there was someone standing there, but she was still too far to identify who it was. '_Who the hell is there?_' she wondered again, and as she got closer she recognized the Mohawk head leaned against her locker.

"Are you lost or something, Puckerman?" she asked when she was by her locker. A grin appeared in his lips, he was glad to see her.

Looking at her shoulder Puck frowned with worry, wondering what happened to her "I'm not lost. I wanted to see you. What happened to your shoulder?" he questioned her worried, because it was looking serious. He has seen some of her wrestling matches and saw how hard it looked and could imagine how painful some moves could be.

"I'm fine" she lied to him, her should was still hurting, but she wasn't exactly fine because she was still unsure if she was going to need the surgery or not, and worst, if she would be able to wrestle after. "This is just an AC separation, type IV. It happened this weekend at a wrestling match. It's really nothing", she told him not showing her preoccupation about it.

She wouldn't confess it, but she missed him – a lot actually – and was kind of happy to see him like the old times. After she dumped him in the beginning of the year, she haven't seen or talked to him. She thought he was mad with her at some point, but forced herself not to care about it, and soon enough he was in the back of her mind. It took a while for her to push him there, but she was over, they were over now.

Watching her open her locker with some difficulty Puck stay there, without saying a word, but trying to put the words in his head right, to make sense when they came out of his mouth. The truth is that he didn't really know what to say to her. I miss you, what the hell happened with us, why did you dumped me, what is the real reason for her action was all in his head but he couldn't figure out which one he should start their conversation.

"Let me help you with that" he said as he grabbed the books from her left arm not caring about the look she shot at him saying that she could handle herself just fine.

"What do you want?" she asked him suspicious about his reasons to be there, after all this time.

"What do you think about getting some coffee?" he suggested to her.

"I never took you for a coffee person" she replied looking at him.

"I'm not, but I remember you like it. And I'm sure you would love one right now."

She swallowed hard at his suggestion. She really would love some coffee right now, and she couldn't believe he still remembers this little detail about her. Her heart skipped a beat and she turned to face her locker that was still open, trying to avoid his eyes pushing away all the feelings that were trying to show off of her face. Damn it, she misses him. More than she expected to.

Taking a silent deep breath she closed her locker and looked at him "I have to go" she said as she grabbed her book from him and started to walk away.

Unsatisfied with her answer, Puck reached out for her hand, the one that was holding the book, grabbing her wrist firmly but gently and then she stopped walking "Are you avoiding me, Zizes?" he asked her and she turned around to face him once more "I have more things to do, Puckerman" she responded. "I have to go, excuse me" she said as she took her hand off his grip and started to walk towards the parking lot.

Puck sighed to see her walking away from him again. He wondered what was going on, what made her walk away from him like that again, doesn't she feel the same way about him the way he does about her, he wanted to know. And then he decided that this time, he wouldn't let her go easily.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note<strong>: So this is my first fanfic ever. I really would love for you guys to read it and review it. Thank you in advance.


	2. You're not going away again

**Chapter 2** – You're not going away again.

* * *

><p>Lauren was once again in the doctor's waiting room. The room was pretty much like any other waiting room, white, with chairs, a TV that had some show on but you can barely listen to it because the volume isn't up enough and some babies and children are always whining. If there was something more annoying than going to see a doctor, it's the waiting, and Lauren hated that, but she needed to be here, to finally know if she needed a surgery or not.<p>

Time really pass by at different speeds. Now, Lauren felt that the seconds were actually taking hours to pass; she needed something to distract her. She took a magazine and started to flip through the pages, not really wanting to read it, nothing seemed interesting enough. She sat the magazine back where it was. The nurse hasn't called her yet, and that was driving her crazy. She took her cellphone out of her pocket, checking the news on the internet, browsing for funny comics, but unconsciously she found herself looking at some old texts.

As she spotted a particular old text, she swallowed hard when her mind revive the old memories that it brought to her; memories that she had pushed away, on the back of her head and kept reminded her not to remember about them. She should have deleted his texts and avoid the feeling of something fluttering on her stomach. She bit her bottom lip, trying to remain focus and push away those feelings again, but her mind seemed to not want the same thing, and then, his face appeared as she closed her eyes, the memory from last week, when he was at her locker, asking her to go get a coffee with him, making her heart skip a beat once more with the memory.

It wasn't until she heard her name being called that she opened her eyes, leaving these memories where they were, standing up and walking to the doctor's office, it was time for her to find out about her future, and she wasn't very calm about it.

Football practices could be really tiring, but Puck enjoyed it. It was the time that he could get all the stress out of his system by beating someone up, in a sports way, since he quit throwing people in dumpsters, or getting into any fights, and with this week, he could totally use some moves to relief the tension he was in.

It has been a week that he hasn't seen Lauren around school, since the day he talked to her, to be more accurate. After talking to some people, he found out that she was at the school, but somehow she managed to not be around when he was looking for her, he wanted to talk to her, see if she was ok, mostly because her arm seemed to be really messed up, and because he just wanted to talk to her.

'_Is she trying to avoid me?'_ he thought as he walked back to the boys' locker room and sat on the bench, unlacing his shoes, wrapping his brain around trying to understand what was going on, what were her reasons to be avoiding him, he can't have done something wrong.

As the boys started to get their things and go home, Puck stood up and headed to the showers, taking each piece of clothing out and hanging it. Turning the shower on, he waited under it so he could feel the water running from the top of his head, down to his torso and feet. The hot shower was making his muscles relax at each second it passed, the steam making the room foggy. He was alone now, and he took deep breaths as he started thinking about her again. _'What am I going to do?'_ he thought countless times, trying to figure it out his moves, because he knew that with Lauren, he had to do it right, she wasn't like the other girls.

It took him about half an hour to finish taking his shower, and when he was done he turned off the water, and wrapped the towel around his waist, stepping out of the showers and drying his body and putting his clothes on. His mind did not stop thinking about what he could have done for Lauren to the point that she didn't want to see him, played the times they were together a thousand times in his head, but he got nothing from it, he sighed heavily, feeling tired.

Walking out of the locker room, holding his gym bag, he headed to the school's parking lot through the gym, walking slowly. By this time, there was no one in the school, so there was a peaceful silence, the kind that you could hear a feather falling and hitting the ground, but that wasn't the sound that caught Puck's attention.

This sound seemed to be like someone just walked in and dropped something not too heavy, and it came from the other end of the gym. That got Puck intrigued, biting the inside of his bottom lip just a bit and heading towards where that sound was coming from. As he got closer, he saw that the light on the weight room was on, that shouldn't have been, since there was no one in the school at this time, figuring that one of the guys must have forgotten on.

Stepping closer to the room, he opened the door slowly and looking around to make sure there was no one there so he could turn the lights off and finally go home, because he was tired and hungry. At first, a bag came to his sight, it looked familiar to him and he frowned trying to remember who it was, but his eyes soon caught the sight of Lauren, sitting on the bench, with her back to the door. He couldn't help but to smile slightly to see her, after the whole week of nothing, he entered the room, but could tell that she didn't even notice his presence, so he stood next to the door trying to decide whether was better for him to come to her – which would probably scare the shit out of her, and make her break his nuts in one movement – or just say hi from a far – which could make her turn around and tell him to go away. Deciding to play safe now, he knocked slightly on the door "Hey" he said to her watching at every reaction she would have.

She turned around to the sound of his voice, facing him. Her eyes were heavy and she looked a little pale, she didn't want him to see the mess she was right now, but she honestly didn't have the strength to do anything right now, she just wanted to put everything in place and figure out about her life. "Hey" she replied quietly barely looking at him.

He took that as a sign she wasn't great, he could see that she wasn't her usual self, so he walked towards her, taking a seat by her side.

"I'm worried about you" he told her not taking his eyes off of her face.

"I really don't know why" she replied trying to sound as if she couldn't care less if he was worried about her or not. But she did.

"To start, Lauren, I care about you" he said to her, a little annoyed that it seemed that she didn't know that yet after all they went through "And for other, because your shoulder seems to be bothering you a lot. And…" he trailed off. The look she gave him indicated that she wanted to hear the rest, so he continued "…because I'm trying to understand why are you avoiding me so much."

Lauren knew that he wasn't going away without an answer, "I went to the doctor today, to see what's gonna happen with my shoulder and all" she paused, looking at her hand that was resting on her knee, replaying the doctor's words on her head, feeling her heart heavy and her eyes watered. She took a deep breath "He said that I need a surgery".

Seeing Lauren so tense made Puck even more worried. He never seen her so nervous before, and even though he knew she was trying to hide it, he could see the pain in her eyes that were locked on her hand. "I'm sure it is a normal procedure, and that you'll be good as new after it" he said, trying to comfort her.

"The chances for me to get back on the mat, after the surgery, it's only 40%. And I'll need a lot of physiotherapy" she said, finally looking at him meeting his eyes and locking in his gaze. She was frustrated with the results that the doctor had told her, and felt for the first time in her life, lost. She would have to do the surgery, but what if after it she couldn't wrestle anymore, what would she do?

Puck tried to find the right words to calm her down, and to tell her that everything was going to be alright, but there were no words to describe to how much he wanted to be there with her and for her. He then slipped his hand, reaching out for hers and holding it gently, intertwining their fingers. He half expected her to jerk off, losing the contact that he just made with her, but when she didn't do it, he just squeezed a little.

"Everything is going to be alright, Lauren" he said lamely "I know it's what anyone would say, but I know it will be alright. You don't need to worry too much about it" if he wasn't paying so close attention to her face, he would never notice the small smile she let appear on her lips.

Lauren couldn't deny the touch of his skin to hers made her a little calmer, even her mind let out the thoughts about her surgery and concentrated on the holding hands that was happening. _'How come he stills worries about me, after I dumped him giving a stupid ass reason?'_ she thought letting a small smile appear on her lips.

"What am I supposed to do, if I can't wrestle anymore?" she asked him, trying to figure it out a plan if the worst happens.

"You'll always have me" he answered "and Glee. Even though you think we are lame, we are always there for each other and it won't be any different for you…" he looked at their hands and back to her eyes.

Lauren looked into his eyes, trying to read what he just said, trying to find a lie in this sentence but failed the attempt, his eyes were truthful just like his words "Do you really mean it?" she asked, sounding too vulnerable, making Lauren want to kick herself in the guts to sound like that.

Puck nodded, his eyes locked with hers, his free hands reaching for her cheek cupping it. He leaned in, making their lips meet with one soft kiss. He knew that was a risky move, but he didn't care, he didn't want to play safe anymore, he couldn't be around her without kissing her anymore he wanted her and wanted to show her that.

As she felt his lips touch hers she gasped at the contact, it wasn't something she was expecting, and he let his tongue explore her mouth, twirling with her own. She found herself liking the contact, one she didn't have from him a long time, she missed it. They only broke apart when their lungs were screaming for air.

"Does that answer your question?" he said in a whisper tone since they were still close enough to hear each other's breathing with a smile on his face.

Lauren opened her eyes slowly, believing that this moment was a dream, and was a bit scared that when she opened her eyes it would all be gone; his whisper did not made it seem real, but when she finally opened her eyes, she found his hazel ones and a soft smile appeared on her lips whether she wanted to show it or not.

"You're getting a little better at this. I guess I thought you well" she told him, transforming her smile in a smirk.

"You sure did" he replied leaning in for another kiss, but she turned her face to avoid the contact that was about to happen. She knew that if they kissed again, it would mean much more than it should and she wasn't ready for that just yet.

"What's wrong?" he asked when he noticed that she appeared not want his kiss and it made him confused.

"I need to go home."

"No. You're not leaving me. I'm not going to let run away from me, Zizes."

"I'm not running away."

"So tell me why, every time we are close to having something special, you walk away from me?"

She didn't answer.

"I like you Lauren, I told you this many times before, and for now this is one of the few things that I have sure about my life. And I know you like me back, because you can't possibly not feel the same electricity that I feel when I touch you, or kiss you, because that isn't something I feel every time I hook up with someone, it only happens with you, actually. So why can't you just admit to yourself, and let yourself be happy with me?"

"Conceited, aren't you?" she snapped at him, standing up.

"No. Not at all. Actually I think I'm not the best at all. Everyone is making plans to go off to college, and leaving this hell, and sure I want to get out of here, but I have nothing planed, I don't know what's going to happen to me after high school, but it seems that I'll end up being the Lima loser I never wanted to be" he stood up facing her, locking his eyes on hers.

Lauren wanted to punch him and hug him at the same time. She could see the pain in his eyes, the kind of pain you have when you dream about something, and it's taken away from you all the hope of making it come true.

"Your future is what you decide it to be. Not what anyone else tells you" she told him stepping backwards, towards the exit. "I have to go now."

He watched her go again, and saw that she forgot her bag. He let out a heavy sigh, he didn't want her to go away, so he took the opportunity and grab her bag and jogged to find her in the parking lot "You forgot your bag" he said to her as she was getting inside her car.

She took the bag from his hands and without looking she thanked him, and before she could close the door, he hold it firmly "I'm not giving up on you. On us." He told her and let go of the door, turning around and heading to his own car.

She watched him go this time, staying a little while longer on the parking lot, taking in all he had told her today.

"It could be much easier if you didn't felt this way, Zizes" she said to herself.


End file.
